Alhamdulillah

Yesterday was the day afterall my shortcomings, sins, My Allah has given me what I have asked for...My prayer was answered It was/is a miracle.

Alhamdulillah.

Allah is always there. He listens to us...Us humans are just unpatients....I am so greatful....O my Allah make it easy for me and have Rehm on me and my loved ones. Ameen

An eyeopener

I have been so absorbed in pitying myself over the last few months that I have completely and utterly lost track of the things that are ging around me. I have been crying and complaining about " how my life is such a mess" but is it?Is it really? As far as I know I am healthy...I have got family who is Alhamdulillah in good health, but there are people out there whose life have been shattered so many times over the past few years but they are still not complaining and getting on with their lives. What right have I got to complain? Looking back I feel so ashamed and at unease. I should be thankful for all the things I have....and I am....Today was truly an eyeopener....But sad thing is it took a tragedy to made me see sense :-(

I want what is mine

All I want is what is mine!!!Is it too much to ask for???

I dont want someone elses dreams....I dont wana step on someone elses plans.

All I want is what I deserve...

Is it too much to ask for???

Maybe this is my destiny

I am so tired.....so tired of being so strong....I wana give up, I wana cry, I want to tell someone how much I am hurting but I cant....I need to keep on being strong for others....maybe that is my destiny...maybe that is what I am good for...maybe thats what I am suppose to do.

But what do I do about this feeling...I am sinking and for once in my life I want someone to hold my hand and just listen to me...But it wont happen...not today...not tomorrow...not ever...Walls I have built around me are so high now...I must carry on the way I have always been...maybe this is my destiny...maybe this is the way I need to carry on.

Poverty is the Biggest Crime

Poverty is the Biggest you can ever commit!!! FACT

I need to be in peace with myself first

I was lost....I cried once again till I couldnt breath...I walked for days like my life was over...But it isnt is it? It was never my dream....Then why I dared to dream about it...Why would I be sad for something that was never ever mine at the first place..It was a dream a fairy tale that never lasted..But thats what it is all about fairytales only last in dreamland....Reality is different and I guess my reality is more different than anyone elses...

So what do I do about it?

Do I keep on crying and ruin my life? Or Do I get up once again as before and start all over again?

I chose the latter you may ask why....because I am used to getting up and starting all over again over and over in my life so why change the habit eh...secondly Why should I let actions of others define what I can and will do with my life...Its painful...I must admit...Even though it wasnt my dream I started dreaming about it..maybe that was my pitfall...I should have known my limits...Oh well another lesson learn....I always learn the hard way....

So what do I do now....I forgive myself and make peace with myself...Even though I did not make the decision people who did had the best intentions in heart I need to believe that today...tomorrow and forever.....and hopefully I wont regret this decisions as others have said that I will....Who know what future holds but I need to somehow start getting excited about it again and with Allah's help and mercy InshAllah I will.

Ameen

Here am I

Here am I once again!!!!for the past few weeks I have been struggling/crying and was being an emotional wreck....I have always thought money mattered....more today than ever before.I have seen people becoming week only because they are poor.

I have doubt myself/my abilities. My belief was getting weak by the seconds but then I realised if anyone can help me out its my Allah...Allah answers when you ask him...he knows I am a sinner...I only ask for help when I am in trouble he knows my intentions and he knows my pain...and only he can help me out of this rut.

Allah Mian thanks for creating another way for me yet again Alhamdulillah You are my Allah...You are Al Rehman You are Al Rahim...help me and guide me and choose the things that are best for me...You know what I want and only you know what I want...If its good for me...make it happen...if its not...give me strength to be happy in your raza.

Ameen SumAmeen

A simple Dua and Thankyou

Reading back at the post I wrote few months ago I have come to realise that things have changed so rapidly...I was crying for something else and Allah had planned totally different thing for me I couldnt see it or hear it at the time....But reading back today I have come to realise my Allah is very merciful, Allah has given me so many things without even asking. Do I ever say thanks?? No and I feel ashamed admitting it.

O my Lord, I am the most forgetful creation of urs, You have been giving me without asking and I have never said Alhamdulillah in return. I am ashamed of my actions, Things that I have done in night and in day, Sins I have committed knowingly and without knowing. Allah Mian give me the strength to fight evil, Make my heart,lips,eyes and brain pure, Forgive my sins even though I am not worthy of your forgiveness But I know you like your servents to ask you for help and only you...You are the giver give me peace and content. Provide me with the rizq through halal means, Lookafter and protect my family, Protect all the people I know and the people I dont know, Give health to the poorly, Help the needy and give me strength and resources to help the needy, Allah mian provide ways so we can pay off the debt You are the " Musab-bebul-Asbab" create asbab for us... Allah ease everyones worries,pains and misfortunes. Allah Tallah listen to my jaiz duas and have mercy on me.

Ameen, SumAmeen

Dont be sad

I know noone reads this blog but if someone stumbles upon it. You should read this book called Dont be sad.

With Allah by my side try me

A friend forwarded a text to me few months back and I saved it for the sake of these last few words...They never made so much sense until now.Us humans are so blind sometimes we look for so many venues for help but dont ask for help from someone who has told us to ask him for help when we need it. Allah does not want us to cry and beg others...he does not want us to lose our dignity....but do we listen no....We ask everyone except him.

Why not ask Allah when we are lost...he is the one who knows where the light is at the end of the tunnel....It is silly we dont ask the builder who has build the tunnel for the way out but we ask for workers like us to help us out...Only Allah can and will help us out...Just have firm belief and our hardships will end soon InshAllah.

Ameen

When there is Nothing there is SOMEONE

For the last two weeks....I went through every single emotion, I dared to dream about something I have never let myself before and then it all ended just like that before even the beginning....and I cried for something that was never mine. And then I realised tears wnt help, screaming at people,being sad would not help....I need to have a faith because Allah is here to guide me,listen to me and show me the right path. Allah will decide what is right for me InshAllah I just have to wait and have faith.

FAITH.....How Important is it?

Have faith that you will achieve something and you will...
Have faith that you will win and you will...
Have faith that you will succeed and you will...
Have faith that you will defeat it and you will...
Have faith that you will conquer and you will...
Have faith that someone is watching over you The One who loves you more than 70 mothers..The One who is so close to you than anyone else in this world AND you will be watched and loved for the rest of your life...

That's my Faith and thats my Belief....What about you....look deeper inside you and you will hear it...close your eyes and you will see it...then just believe in it and in yourself and world is your oyster.

How important is your religion to you

Would you leave your religion for the sake of love?happiness?
Can you leave your religion for someone else?Can you?

Sometimes

Sometimes we forget what are we doing..why are we doing it. Sometimes you just forget the aim and goals of your life.

How do you get back on track?

A happy bride?

She is going to get married soon...She is worried...She told me its nerves....But I know its more than that...I won't see her on her wedding day.

But I hope and Pray that you have a wonderful life and may your worries just fade away my lovely friend.

A simple Thankyou :-)

Thankyou sooooooooooooooooooooo sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much....I never thought it would be possible but I have done it....Its done..

Thankyou Allah Mian Thankyou

End before the Beginning

Why do some people make others life so difficult by being nice....Why why??

I know I shouldnt be even thinking about it...but I cant help myself and its not my fault is it???U wont even know what you have done :-( I am not going to do anything because its not worth it...Its all wrong...I should just ignore you....which I will from today....


Its ends here before even the beginning....Oh well its called life My life thats how it rolls.

The END

Lost

Wish it was simple
I just wish it was
But its not
So what do I do????
I have no idea
I am once again LOST

How i felt when I read about the result complete and utter loser...But then I realised I should be happy for all those people..Their hard work paid off and they deserve it...I should stop being angry about my shortcomings and weaknesses and move on...They deserve it...what if is not the question now... I need to make the best of my circumstances I am sure I WILL GET MY BREAK INSHALLAH.

New Start for her tomorrow

She is getting married tomorrow And I am sitting here thinking how she must be feeling. Exactly a year ago I saw her sobbing her eyes out and I thought to myself will she ever find happiness again. I have known her for four years and in these four years we went through all the emotions we could...and tomorrow she is starting a new journey once again...But this time she wont be alone..She has found a lovely companion who I hope and pray will stick by her through thick and thin.

I cant wait till I see her tomorrow...she will make an adorable bride...I cant believe my little friend is going to get married and I am going to be part of it...I am sure it will be one of the best days of her life and I wish her all the happiness in her life.

Battle within

I feel sick, mentally and physically....and I dont know what to do about it...I am so stressed that I cant concentrate on anything...and in result of that I am doing things I promised myself not to do ever again :-( I know its not an excuse But I am struggling and I dont know what to do....Sometimes you just go blank thats How I am nowadays...I have got no motivation what so ever...I feel sick...I feel sick and useless..

Why am I feeling this low...I think I have lost my self worth in my own eyes and that is one of the most degrading things ever when you can not look at yourself in the mirror...I feel like complete and utter loser...

I know I need to get up and sort myself out...It will be a struggle but I need to do this...For my own sake and sanity and for others.

My Life Sucks!!! Really?

How many times have you said that?? in last few days/weeks/months/years?

I am one of the biggest complainer So in other words....yeah I like to complain all the time...If things are not going well...I complain, If thing are going well...I complain....even when there is nothing to complain I complain.... I am a professional complainer it is a hard job but someone has to do it right? I am trying to overcome this "problem" because it is a problem...I have decided that next time I am going to complain about something I will tell myself to think about it for a little while...and if I still think that it is worth complaining about I will go ahead and complain...but if it is not...I will go and find another topic to complain about ;-).

P.S. Yes It is a new world record for using word complain in one paragraph so many times.

Tears and Laughter

Have you been in situation where you are so sad that you can't help but laugh...I am one of those people who would start laughing when there is nothing to laugh about...I laugh at one of the most silliest moments when people around me are shocked and sad I end up showing my colgate smile :D and most of the time it does not go down well as you can imagine...so this has made me question why do I laugh when I am in trouble why why?

• I like smiling? Well I do but not all the time
• I am insane? Do you even have to ask that
• I like to make people happy? Yeah Right look at the point above

And after much thought I have come to realise that it is my defence mechanism...When I know that I cant do much in this situation I laugh/smile and it tells me that all is not lost there is still a hope...I think the day I stopped laughing about things I am not suppose to laugh at...That day I will start getting worried :-)

Hurdles and First Steps

Taking first steps are not easy...not just one step but steps...For some people it is the first step that will be difficult...For others it is the whole new journey that fills their heart with fear. Sometimes we forget that we are not the only one who is facing these hurdles...We like to blame ourselves, our families,our situations...But trust me no matter how hard it is for you someone out there is having the worst time...So dont worry held your head up high and take the first steps...It won't be easy...You will face hurdles but keep on walking... and believe that you are moving to somewhere better than where you are now and soon you will get there :-)

Thankyou

Thankyou once again for saving me....I was losing hope I was becoming distress and I did not know what to do....I was questionning why me even though deep down I knew somehow it was my fault,I was still hoping it would g away somehow it will be all sorted.

I cried because I knew it was not gona happen I moaned about it and then someone said to me be thankful things happen for a reason and I decided to have faith...Allah Mian u knew me intentions were not bad...I did not do it on purpose...But there are so many people who get the blame even if they dont do anything...But you had your mercy on me...U saved me once again...My parents Duas worked once again...I have learnt a lesson once again....and all I wana say is Thankyou for saving me life, I know I am not worthy of saying thankyou to u...because all my life I have sinned sometimes knowingly others un knowingly....But I promise I will try to improve myself...Give me courage and Guide me Allah Mian because without your help I will be lost once again....Thankyou Thankyou

What will these next few weeks bring?Only If I knew :-(

Another Hurdle

hmmm....and when I thought it was all going so well...But how could it...next monday can change my life for good or worse...It can ruin my life or can make it...Am I scared?Yes I feel numb and cold like nothing matters anymore...My friends are there with their supportive words that everything will be ok but will it? I want to pray to my Almight Allah...Allah Mian help me but I feel like...... I never pray, I even miss my 5 prayers which are fard and now I am gona pray to ask for Allah for help...why would Allah help me when I dont remember to say thanks when things are going ok and I am happy....But then again I have FAITH I know Allah wont let me down my parents prayers are with me.

Allah Mian help me...help me please...Noone can help me but just you I know I always ask when I am in trouble....But guide me to straight path because I am so weak....Help me.

Have Faith

For the last few weeks I had given up hope, I thought I was going to fail miserably once again and I had prepared myself for it...Today when I found out grades were out for that particular module I couldnt click on the button...I had sweaty palms...my heart was beating fast...and then I clicked and there it was in black and white I had passed the module with the marks I never expected to get...and I realised at that moment...that even though I had prepared myself that I will fail...I had hope and a faith...and my Allah did not disappoint me...And for that I am ever so thankful :-) Alhamdulillah.

Everytime something good happens to me I dont think I deserve it...but I still get it...so lesson for today is have some faith things will workout in the best possible way because someone is watching over you :-)

Strangers to Friends

It does not take long...sometimes few words...sometimes a smile...sometimes just a look.

Making friends is easy Keeping them is hard.........................................

Silence

Someone once said you can be alone amongst the crowd...Thats how I am feeling right now there are probably million of websites online...thousands of people blogging and millions of people reading...but noone is reading this blog...yeah its true you can be alone amongst the crowd...................

Be alone but never be lonely :-)

Trust

Who do you trust?

• Family
• Friends
• Strangers
• Yourself???

Anger

We all feel angry time to time....Anger doesnt matter its what we do with our anger that matters.

Whenever you feel angry....leave that place if you can...go out get some fresh air...If you cannot leave the place...close your eyes...and just ignore the reason/person who have made you angry.

Trust me it works...when we are in rage we may say and do things that we will regret later on...you can't take a word back once its spoken...so let your actions speak...say nothing in return trust me it is the biggest revenge.

NoOne Will Read This

I dont know why I am writing these posts...I know NOONE will ever read these...because quite frankly they are not worth reading...This is my mumble jumble, my thoughts. So why am I not writing them in a diary? Why writing them in a blog?

Hmmm Good question and the one I dont have an answer for....As I have said before I am not a writer and my handwriting is lets say not very good...According to my peers I can only read my handwriting so writing in a diary is out of the window.

Why not just type in word document....well I can do that But I dont want to do that simple answer :-) So I am here to write on a blog my blog which NoOne will read and few days,weeks,months or years from now I will read back these posts and think to myself what a silly phase was that WHY? because I am a human..........

Peace

Failures vs Success

All of us try to be the best people we can be...some of us succeed while others fail miserably....But does failing mean YOU have lost the battle? No failing doesnt mean you have lost...It just mean that you need to go around the track once more and then make another jump this time You will succeed because you have tasted the bitter fruit of failure.

If you fail dont give up....because the day you gave up that would be the day when you will FAIL...

Success doesnt mean we have won...It just tells us that we have been lucky this time we never had to taste the failure.

If you succeed dont forget to say Thanks to people who have helped you get to your dreams...Be humble but not too humble we dont want people to think success was just due to their help... we do need to have some self confidence ;-) ...

The line between success and failure is very thin......... one foot wrong and you will be on the other side REMEMBER THAT.

Peace

The Beginning

Who am I and Why am I here?

Do I like writing? No I am a silent reader type...

I am lost in my thoughts and this is the new adventure in my life....Lets see how it goes.