I need to be in peace with myself first

I was lost....I cried once again till I couldnt breath...I walked for days like my life was over...But it isnt is it? It was never my dream....Then why I dared to dream about it...Why would I be sad for something that was never ever mine at the first place..It was a dream a fairy tale that never lasted..But thats what it is all about fairytales only last in dreamland....Reality is different and I guess my reality is more different than anyone elses...

So what do I do about it?

Do I keep on crying and ruin my life? Or Do I get up once again as before and start all over again?

I chose the latter you may ask why....because I am used to getting up and starting all over again over and over in my life so why change the habit eh...secondly Why should I let actions of others define what I can and will do with my life...Its painful...I must admit...Even though it wasnt my dream I started dreaming about it..maybe that was my pitfall...I should have known my limits...Oh well another lesson learn....I always learn the hard way....

So what do I do now....I forgive myself and make peace with myself...Even though I did not make the decision people who did had the best intentions in heart I need to believe that today...tomorrow and forever.....and hopefully I wont regret this decisions as others have said that I will....Who know what future holds but I need to somehow start getting excited about it again and with Allah's help and mercy InshAllah I will.

Ameen