Maybe this is my destiny

I am so tired.....so tired of being so strong....I wana give up, I wana cry, I want to tell someone how much I am hurting but I cant....I need to keep on being strong for others....maybe that is my destiny...maybe that is what I am good for...maybe thats what I am suppose to do.

But what do I do about this feeling...I am sinking and for once in my life I want someone to hold my hand and just listen to me...But it wont happen...not today...not tomorrow...not ever...Walls I have built around me are so high now...I must carry on the way I have always been...maybe this is my destiny...maybe this is the way I need to carry on.

Poverty is the Biggest Crime

Poverty is the Biggest you can ever commit!!! FACT

I need to be in peace with myself first

I was lost....I cried once again till I couldnt breath...I walked for days like my life was over...But it isnt is it? It was never my dream....Then why I dared to dream about it...Why would I be sad for something that was never ever mine at the first place..It was a dream a fairy tale that never lasted..But thats what it is all about fairytales only last in dreamland....Reality is different and I guess my reality is more different than anyone elses...

So what do I do about it?

Do I keep on crying and ruin my life? Or Do I get up once again as before and start all over again?

I chose the latter you may ask why....because I am used to getting up and starting all over again over and over in my life so why change the habit eh...secondly Why should I let actions of others define what I can and will do with my life...Its painful...I must admit...Even though it wasnt my dream I started dreaming about it..maybe that was my pitfall...I should have known my limits...Oh well another lesson learn....I always learn the hard way....

So what do I do now....I forgive myself and make peace with myself...Even though I did not make the decision people who did had the best intentions in heart I need to believe that today...tomorrow and forever.....and hopefully I wont regret this decisions as others have said that I will....Who know what future holds but I need to somehow start getting excited about it again and with Allah's help and mercy InshAllah I will.

Ameen

Here am I

Here am I once again!!!!for the past few weeks I have been struggling/crying and was being an emotional wreck....I have always thought money mattered....more today than ever before.I have seen people becoming week only because they are poor.

I have doubt myself/my abilities. My belief was getting weak by the seconds but then I realised if anyone can help me out its my Allah...Allah answers when you ask him...he knows I am a sinner...I only ask for help when I am in trouble he knows my intentions and he knows my pain...and only he can help me out of this rut.

Allah Mian thanks for creating another way for me yet again Alhamdulillah You are my Allah...You are Al Rehman You are Al Rahim...help me and guide me and choose the things that are best for me...You know what I want and only you know what I want...If its good for me...make it happen...if its not...give me strength to be happy in your raza.

Ameen SumAmeen

A simple Dua and Thankyou

Reading back at the post I wrote few months ago I have come to realise that things have changed so rapidly...I was crying for something else and Allah had planned totally different thing for me I couldnt see it or hear it at the time....But reading back today I have come to realise my Allah is very merciful, Allah has given me so many things without even asking. Do I ever say thanks?? No and I feel ashamed admitting it.

O my Lord, I am the most forgetful creation of urs, You have been giving me without asking and I have never said Alhamdulillah in return. I am ashamed of my actions, Things that I have done in night and in day, Sins I have committed knowingly and without knowing. Allah Mian give me the strength to fight evil, Make my heart,lips,eyes and brain pure, Forgive my sins even though I am not worthy of your forgiveness But I know you like your servents to ask you for help and only you...You are the giver give me peace and content. Provide me with the rizq through halal means, Lookafter and protect my family, Protect all the people I know and the people I dont know, Give health to the poorly, Help the needy and give me strength and resources to help the needy, Allah mian provide ways so we can pay off the debt You are the " Musab-bebul-Asbab" create asbab for us... Allah ease everyones worries,pains and misfortunes. Allah Tallah listen to my jaiz duas and have mercy on me.

Ameen, SumAmeen

Dont be sad

I know noone reads this blog but if someone stumbles upon it. You should read this book called Dont be sad.

With Allah by my side try me

A friend forwarded a text to me few months back and I saved it for the sake of these last few words...They never made so much sense until now.Us humans are so blind sometimes we look for so many venues for help but dont ask for help from someone who has told us to ask him for help when we need it. Allah does not want us to cry and beg others...he does not want us to lose our dignity....but do we listen no....We ask everyone except him.

Why not ask Allah when we are lost...he is the one who knows where the light is at the end of the tunnel....It is silly we dont ask the builder who has build the tunnel for the way out but we ask for workers like us to help us out...Only Allah can and will help us out...Just have firm belief and our hardships will end soon InshAllah.

Ameen